More Thoughts on Friendship

The following passage is by DailyOM:

The Friend We Want To Be: Evaluating Our Relationships
There comes a time in all our lives when we may need to evaluate our relationships, making sure that they are having a positive effect on us, rather than dragging us down. Without realizing it, we may be spending precious time and energy engaging in friendships that let us down, rather than cultivating ones that support and nourish us along our path. Life, with its many twists, turns, and challenges, is difficult enough without us entertaining people in our inner circle who drain our energy. We can do so much more in this world when we are surrounded by people who understand what we’re trying to do and who positively support our efforts to walk our path.

We can begin this evaluation process by simply noticing how we feel in the context of each one of our close relationships. We may begin to see that an old friend is still carrying negative attitudes or ideas that we ourselves need to let go of in order to move forward. Or we may find that we have a long-term relationship with someone who has a habit of letting us down, or not showing up for us when we need support. There are many ways to go about changing the status quo in situations like this, having a heart to heart with our friend showing through example. This process isn’t so much about abandoning old friends as it is about shifting our relationships so that they support us on our journey rather than holding us back.

An important part of this process is looking at ourselves and noticing what kind of friend we are to the people in our lives. We might find that as we adjust our own approach to a relationship, challenging ourselves to be more supportive and positive, our friends make adjustments as well and the whole world benefits.

For more writings from DailyOM, please click on the link on the upper right side of this blog page.

DailyOM

Most people know my affinity for DailyOM, which has been delivered to my email in box on a daily basis for a few years now. I find it very insightful and very inspirational and look forward to receiving it every day. DailyOM actually just published their first book and it arrived in bookstores on Tuesday. Courtesy of my very generous and thoughtful sister, I will be receiving a complimentary copy!

If you are interested in checking out DailyOM, a link to their site has been on the right side of my blog since its inception last July (and will remain there). I will also put a link to their site in this blog posting, as well as a link to their new book. I am confident that you will find DailyOM to be a great resource, whether you choose to visit their website or sign up for their daily email. I encourage you to take a look!

CLICK HERE for DailyOM's website

CLICK on book icon below to review and purchase the book

Winter Wonderland

If you live in the Northeast, you are probably experiencing a very snowy day. I live in Boston, where it has been snowing since dawn. The snow was light, but steady, until about 3:00 PM when it began falling more heavily, and as of 9:15 PM, the city is fully covered under a blanket of snow, approximately 7 inches thick and the snow continues to fall. As children, snow meant a possible day off from school and a chance to play outside, build snowmen, go sledding and maybe have a friendly snowball fight. In our younger days, we were excited at what this winter weather meant for us. As adults, however, the snow becomes an inconvenience; we all endure a longer and more stressful commute (whether you walk, drive, bike ride or use public transportation), we're assigned shoveling duty and for city dwellers who own a car, it can mean having to suddenly find something to do with your car, when the city declares a snow emergency and you have to move it off the road. Next time you find yourself feeling inconvenienced with the snow, slow down and appreciate it for it's beauty and it's wonder. Focus on it's positive attributes, instead of looking at how it may be negatively impacting you. This is Mother Nature at work and snow is winter's gift.

DailyOM has a great perspective on winter and reading this may help you appreciate this chilly season:

Stoking The Inner Fire: Turning Inward During Winter

In the depths of winter, we can forget that bare trees will once again be full with foliage, and grass and flowers hidden beneath a blanket of white or a deceptive covering of hardened earth will burst forth once again. While they slumber, nature is continuing its work at the center of each living thing. We can think of our blankets and warm clothes as similar protection—like the cocoon that surrounds a changing caterpillar—while we undergo our own inner transformational work. In the meantime, the lights that twinkle and the fires that warm us can serve to remind us of the flame of life that burns within us.

In order to stoke our inner flame, we can use the time indoors to focus our attention on our homes and families. We can become distracted by the world outside and forget that we need to nourish the lights that warm our hearts. Interacting at a soul level can be done by sharing stories from our hearts, doing projects together, dancing, or playing games. Devoting energy this way helps us build a stronger bond that will sustain us once the world allows us each to pursue our individual goals again.

Winter allows us to feed the flame in our own centers by reading or researching to nourish our dreams and plans for the future. This can mean catching up on all the quieter things we wanted to do but didn’t have time for, like reading books, watching movies, or listening to music. We may have set aside creative pursuits such as painting or writing that can be brought back to the center burner now. It is also a great time to do some journaling to look back on the year that has passed and perhaps the years before this one in preparation for forward motion in the coming year. Nature’s wisdom offers us opportunities to nourish our inner seeds of hope in preparation for our future, so let us enjoy the inner warmth and be grateful for it all.

Note: This appeared in DailyOM on January 9, 2008.